I thought it was sweet when, the first night after I got my engagement ring, I took it off, placed it on the bedside table, and got in bed, only to hear Rick ask, mildly exasperated, "What are you doing? You're not supposed to take that ring off! Ever!"
How sweetly naive, I thought; he must think that whole "wearing the ring for the rest of your life" thing was literal. How cute (and reassuring, that he'd never slept with a married woman before). But seriously, I thought, who doesn't take her ring off for bed or to shower or to go to the gym or play contact sports?
Apparently I'm the idiot.
I first learned this when I mentioned Rick's "cute" reaction to my grandmother. She quickly set me straight. You never take that ring off! she instructed me. To underline the point, she told me of how she had lost her engagement ring when she took it off at Rockaway Beach and it fell into the ocean.
(Luckily she had insurance on it and they used the money to build a back porch. But that's not the point.)
So you're supposed to wear it to bed? I asked her.
Yep.
What about in the shower?
Uh-huh.
When you're doing dishes?
(Apparently this is cause for some debate - some women do remove their rings for dishes.)
Rick later also allowed that perhaps it would be wise to remove the ring while playing contact sports, if I have a tight pocket. And my grandmother instructed that I turn it inward if I'm in a bad neighborhood.
I'm not sure I believe all this. Doesn't common sense tell you that it's ok to take off a ring if you have a safe place for it, like the nightstand? I mean, it could put some unsuspecting sleeping fiance's eye out. And can't you allow for some sort of discretion about when to wear the ring and when not to? (Like, maybe not to the beach?) I'll admit that I've been caught staring at the ring like a moron a couple times in the past few days, but surely my judgment hasn't been so far compromised by Bridal Syndrome that I can't be trusted to put it in a safe place. It's not like I have to sew my mittens to my winter coat or anything (though come to think of it, I guess I did misplace a couple pairs this winter).
I love my ring, which I find almost troubling given my complete ambivalence toward jewelry before this. But it's a little strange to think of never taking it off. It's almost strangely suffocating, in a completely misplaced sort of way, like I've grown a new (beautiful, shiny) appendage. That's kinda weird.
So, you married types out there, any thoughts? When do you wear your ring and when do you take it off?
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5 comments:
It's simple, really. The more you take it off, the more likely you are to lose it.
I might remind you that your mittens (and your knit cap, several socks, etc.) weren't the size of a grape. And weren't worth as much as a Chevrolet Aveo.
True. On the other hand, my ring doesn't go in the dryer. So I don't think you can hang those missing socks on me.
I think you'll find that those who tell you never to take it off will always start their explanation with "Well, I took it off once and it got lost..." (like your grandmother).
So they were OK taking it off until it got lost, and then it wasn't OK anymore? So are they really saying "Don't take it off" or "Don't lose it"
So obviously, I'm saying you can take it off. But I think the key is to always leave it in the SAME PLACE. I would buy one of those little ring holders where you put the ring on the cat's tail or the elephant's nose, etc.
My wife will actually remove ALL her rings (she has the engagement ring, the wedding band, and some kind of additional wedding band - what is that, like a sports team having a alternate jersey? But that's another discussion). Usually, they're on the elephant, but when I see them on the kitchen counter or on the bathroom sink, I usually yell at her.
I take off my rings (wedding and engagement) when I do any of the following: (1) take a shower or go swimming, (2) play basketball, and (3) put on hand lotion. I take off my ring when I shower or go swimming because I don't want to lose it, and it's more likely to slip off when my hand is wet and slippery (especially if there is also soap or shampoo involved). Also, the day I went to pick up my wedding ring, another newly married couple was there who had just lost a wedding ring on their honeymoon in the ocean because he had not taken off the ring and kept it somewhere safe. The contact sports removal is a no brainer -- don't want to hurt yourself or someone else. The hand lotion is probably just peculiar to me but I don't like getting lotion all over the ring. I second Perl's suggestion -- just keep it somewhere safe when you take it off. I just stick the ring back in the ring box when I take it off. By the way, what a beautiful ring! :)
Ring should come off when:
1. Going to bed
2. At the beach
3. Playing sports
4. In the shower or pool
5. When cleaning it
6. When making cookies
7. When using Tide
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