Dearest loyal blog reader(s?), here's a chance to influence our actual wedding!
As I've mentioned before, we're getting married on a Sunday to accommodate some of the Orthodox crew in my family.
We were planning to begin the ceremony at 4 p.m., which would mean the event ends at 10. Now I am wondering if this is too late.
This past weekend, we went to a Sunday afternoon wedding that began at 3:30. The wedding was lovely but the crowd was visibly thinning out by 8 or so. Even we didn't make it the whole night (though I attribute this to the fact that it was our second wedding of the weekend, we'd spent the previous night in a house with crying babies, and we drove three and a half hours to get there).
I'm not worried about a large portion of our guests, who live so far away they will most certainly spend the night. But we also have a fair number of people coming from New York City and environs, who might plan to drive home that night. Which would likely mean ducking out early.
Which leads me to wonder which scenarios we should consider:
* Starting the wedding at 4, which is helpful for anyone spending the night (check in time at the hotel we booked is 3).
* Starting the wedding at 2, which would be annoying for anyone spending the night but more friendly to those who are not. Also, it would mean a weirdly early dinner.
* Starting the wedding at 3, which probably just doesn't make anyone all that happy.
I'm more inclined to make things easy for people who choose to spend the night than for people who don't, but I don't want the wedding to die out two hours before it ends if all the drive-home types decide to leave early.
How much should we worry about accommodating them? Comment or vote on the poll to the right!
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6 comments:
Most relatives will be staying overnight so I don't think 3:00 or 4:00 makes much of a difference. For those people driving back, even at 10:00 pm, the longest ride is probably 1.5 hours meaning they could get home at 11:30 and that is saying that they stay exactly until the end. Also, your wedding is at the end of the summer when school is closed until after labor day meaning that one or two parents need to be home for their kids so it's not a worry for them either. Oh, and we've all be inconvenienced for a Sunday night wedding or Bar Mitzvah before so it's Payback time for all those people who made it rough getting up for work the next day.
I don't think the 3:00 or 4 matters...the day will go so fast that you won't know what time it is and before you know it, you'll be saying goodbye to people that you didn't say hello to yet but as long as the gift is in your hand, that's all that matters !
We'll be there and we'll be staying over.
I think you should have the wedding at 4:00. There are soooo many things to do the day of and there is never enough time. Your close friends and family will most likely stay to the end and there are always people that leave events earlier than they are over. We have many of those in my family. It is your day and you should do it at what time you want. You have given more than enough time to all when your wedding is and therefore they should plan accordingly to take the next day off, stay over, have someone watch their child, etc. As Kevin mentioned, we have all had weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, functions that end later on a Sunday. For the people who want to drive home that night, they can pick a coffee up on the way home and will maybe be a little tired the next day. No big deal....I am sure you have done that for many people.
I also vote for sticking with 4:00pm. It sounds like that is the time you like the most. It would allow all of your out-of-town guests (which it sounds like there are many) to check in, and it would allow you to serve dinner at an appropriate time. Plus, if you want to have dancing, it helps for the sun to set first. :) Moreover, for your own sake, I highly recommend starting the wedding later in the day so that you don't have to wake up at 6:00am to get your hair and make-up done along with all bridesmaids and moms and whatnot. You'll be so busy with so many of your friends and family in town right before the wedding that it will be really nice to have a few extra hours of sleep on the day of so you will feel well rested (and look well rested in photos too) to enjoy the day you've been planning for so long! As for guests leaving early, I think Ella's mom is right that some people will always leave early, but the people most important to you will definitely stay til the end.
OK as the person who is coming from the farthest away...(or at least I think so, unless there are Australians coming. Are there Australians coming?) I say have it whenever you want. The guests will deal and if a handful of people have a long drive and leave early I doubt it will wreck the party.
Thanks for the advice, everyone! I think we're sold on 4.
Mapela, I think you'll be the most far-flung guest (well, a tie between you and Brian, at least). Unless Liz and James move to Australia before then. Or unless you move back to the US first (hint hint).
Arielle,
This is your special day and you should do what you and Rick want, but there is something for you to re-consider.
Most relatives will be staying overnight but many guests will have to go to work on Monday.
You certainly don't want people to leave early because of a long ride home.
If you opt for a 3:00 start time, I believe that you will end the wedding at a more convenient time and keep the momemtum going.
As far as the hotel, I'm sure you can make arrangements for an earlier check-in for those who are only staying the one night.
Whatever you decide, is fine with me!
Love,
The Mother-in-law
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